Toward a Theology of Pipesmoking

by Max Andrews

A friend of mine recently shared an old out-of-print book, Toward a Theology of  [sic] Pipesmoking, by a seminarian from the 1970′s by the name of Arthur Yunker. The subtitle is:

In which it is argued that worthy pipesmoking is one of the ultimate gifts of the Holy Ghost and brings its practitioners very close to the nature of the Kingdom of God, which arguments are diligently supported by unassailable proof texts and incontestable logic.

This is obviously a humorous take on pipe smoking. The content is not just hilarious, but it is certainly educational for the avid pipe smoker, connoisseur, and lover of all things good and righteous. I’ve taken the time to type up the table of contents to give you a quick perspective for what awaits you.

Chapter One: Dogmatics

Heresies Refuted:

That smoking involves risk and should simply be avoided
That the pipe is merely a high-church way of doing to the body what cigarettes accomplish more efficiently
That pipesmoking is bourgeois and has no place in relevant theology
That pipesmoking is materialist self-indulgence
That a pipe is merely a furnace to consume tobacco
That one pipe is as good as another as long as it’s sincere

Truths Affirmed:

That smoking involves risk and should simply be avoided
That meerschaum is the most sublime of the creatures of God
That pipes are to be treated with reverence
That pipe collecting is part of the Imago Dei
That Romans 8:19-25 applies to pipes
That we shall smoke in heaven

Chapter Two: History

Martyrology
Hagiology

Chapter Three: Ethics

Responsibility to the Cosmos
Choice of Tobacco
Treatment of the Pipe
Smoking Technique
Responsibility to the Neighbor
Pastoral Ethics

Chapter Four: Liturgics

Concerning the Selection of Pipes
Concerning the Breaking-in of Pipes
Concerning the Seasoning of Pipes
Concerning the Proper Display of Pipes
Concerning the Smoker’s Dinguswhatsis and Other Articles
Concerning the Choice of Tobacco
Concerning the Storage of Tobacco
Concerning the Blending of Tobacco
Correct Procedure from the Filling of the Pipe to the Going Out Thereof
Other Considerations

Chapter Five: Pastoral Theology

Appendices

Appendix 1: Illustrations
Appendix 2: Glossary
Appendix 3: Buyer’s Guide to Brand Names
Appendix 4: Blending
Appendix 5: Bibliography

Download Theology of Pipesmoking by Arthur D. Yunker.

Pipe Rack

This is my pipe rack, which contains several of my great-grand father’s pipes reaching about 80 years old.

 

(I originally found this here.)

 

 


3 Comments to “Toward a Theology of Pipesmoking”

  1. Very nice pipe rack Max! Should my collection ever grow beyond two pipes I’ll have to invest in one!

    Clark

  2. I am going to love this book.
    Thanks a lot.

  3. Hysterical and irreverent – I love it! All pipe smokers should have this in their library!

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